My internal struggle

by Dennis Cole III

Call me Holden. I never and yet always wanted to say that. It is after all one of my favorite books. No, not Moby Dick, that book was horrible. OK, I never read it. I think a number of people identify with the Catcher in the Rye because of the tie to adolescence, but everyone seems to avoid the mental illness part of the book (or seems to forget it). Well that’s where I’m writing from. “Hello from the other side.” So you’re reading this at least a couple of days after I wrote it.

So here’s the hard part: I suffer from mental illness. Of course if you’ve seen my videos, you already knew that; but seriously, I do. It’s been hard on the family and they’ve been supportive. However, I’m not really writing this for them. I care more about you, the Reader; the one Reader that suffers the same way I do. Those of you that can’t help but beat yourself up, those that can’t get out of bed, those that self medicate, those that have lost trust in people, those that have no one to understand them, that are alone (in their own mind or in reality), those who go through sleepless nights: I am talking to you. I know you feel let down, that you are no good to anyone, that you are full of sin and fall short in God’s eyes (if you believe in God). But if anyone cares for you, I do. Even if we never see each other again, I’ll still think of you. I’ll pray for you if you let me. I know that I have a support system that helps me and has gotten me through this current difficulty, but being with you, normal people with difficult problems, has helped just as much if not more so.

Don’t let this world keep you down. Don’t self destruct, rest easy. Simple to say, near impossible to do. I do believe God can heal all wounds, and if not, time will. You just have to work to forgive others and yourself. If you need me, just think of me; I’ll be thinking of you.

I’m going to add some more writers to this blog so I’m looking forward to having them join – oh and I got rid of the annoying ads (I made no money on it anyway).