The Ultimate Band

I saw Foo Fighters the other day and rocked out. Dave Grohl
was able to continue playing this tour even though his leg was seriously broken
not too long ago (picture courtesy of the Mets). A 5-star performance.

But this brought back some old thoughts of mine regarding
the Ultimate Band. Yeah my musical tastes have varied over the years – from Jazz
and Classical to Hip Hop to Reggae and Ska then Merengue and Salsa before
finally succumbing to Rock and a touch of Metal. I was just as confused
musically as I am racially; maybe more so.

But back on topic – what would be your ultimate band? Rules
are people must be alive, so no 27 club members (apologies to Hendrix, Cobain,
Morrison, actually just go to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club).
Besides that, you get three guitarists, a bass player, a drummer, male and
female vocalist, any number of orchestra instruments and a guest star (like a
Fantasy Football lineup). Apologize to the runners up. So here goes:

Orchestra:

Cellos: Eicca Toppinen, Paavo Lötjönen and Perttu Kivilaakso
of Apocalyptica (apologies to Yo-Yo Ma)

Sax: David Sanborn (no apologies to Kenny G), El Ciego de
Nagua

Trumpets: Wynton Marsalis, Dominick Farinacci (apologies to
other trumpet players I don’t know)

Trombone: Trombone Shorty

I probably need to do more research on trumpets but that
said, I’m pretty happy with this. Based on my cello selection, you can tell the
rest of this list will probably be heavily Rock influenced but that’s OK
because yours could be different. I don’t like being controversial but this
topic will spur controversy. I’m interested in your opinion and if I overlook
something, educate me. Now moving forward:

Drums: Dave Grohl (apologies to Jason Costa of All that
Remains, Jeremy Spencer of Five Finger Death Punch – I do like me some double
bass drums though)

I had to go Dave. His drums on Nirvana and any side project
like Queens of the Stone Age or even Them Crooked Vultures and plays like he’s
playing the timpani and not a drum set. What I mean by that is he knows how a
cymbal or snare or tom fits in with the rest of the song and where the fill
fits on a micro level (does any of this make sense or am I rambling?).

Bass: Flea (general apologies to all other bassists)

I don’t know where else to go other than Flea. Maybe Shavo
Odadjian… that may be an alternative but bass players are like IT technicians,
you don’t know they exist until something is down, like the when bass line
drops out entirely. Call 4357.

Guitarists: Jimmy Page, Slash, Herman Li (apologies to other
genres, other kick-butt rock guitarists, the public in general, my bachateros
like Anthony Santos and Luis Vargas)

Yeah, this one is tough. I’m hearing the boos. My dad is
screaming in my ear: “ERIC CLAPTON”. The fact is this list changes depending on
my mood, so any guy feel free to leave the band, I’ll find somebody yo.

Female Vocalist: Lzzy Hale (I will not apologize)

A strong alto voice with a touch of anger. I refuse to think
of anyone else for my band. It’s my band.

Male Vocalist: Serj Tankian (apologies to James Hetfield,
Ivan L. Moody, M. Shadows, Howard Jones, other genres)

C’mon, you know that voice sticks in your head like peanut
butter on the roof of your mouth. Ask yourself, “Why don’t presidents fight the
war? Why do they always send the poor?” Wake up, put on some makeup, you wanted
to.

Wildcard: Eminem (WHAT?!?)

I just want to see what you say.

So this is my current version of my ultimate
band. Obviously this is too hard rock influenced, so point taken. But what I
really want is to hear your version of your ultimate band. So whether it’s
here, on Facebook or elsewhere – I WANT TO HEAR IT!!